Adoption: A Birthmom's Story
Pregnant. Pregnant. How could I of all people be pregnant? I was a preacher’s daughter. I was single. I was a nursing student at a Mennonite college, for heaven’s sake. Now what to do? Abortion seemed like a quick, easy answer; but when I examined my conscience I couldn’t go through the procedure because I was carrying life, however ill-planned, in me. So what to do?
I contacted the student aid on campus, and he was so appalled that later that day he sent me a note via campus mail to get off campus in 10 days because my presence there was “embarrassing and damaging to the institution.” I was 12 weeks pregnant at the time.
Ultimately, I was referred to a program that offered housing, employment, medical care, and adoption options through Right to Life. I stayed at a residence which was run by nuns who cared for me during the duration of my pregnancy, delivery, and 6 weeks postpartum as well.
While participating in this program the scripture of the parable of the sower came to my heart and I hold it fast for this situation. Had I chosen abortion, it would have been like sowing a seed on a rock where the sun would have burnt it up and ruined any of it’s potential. Had I chosen to keep the baby, a boy, it would have been like sowing the seed in the weeds where it would have taken root to grow, but then got choked out of it’s full potential due to lack of proper growing conditions. After all, my life was a mess, how could I raise a child and expect anything greater than what I was experiencing?
I chose adoption—putting the seed in the well-tilled and tended ground.
I exchanged letters through my adoption agency with the adoptive mother of my son, Eric. I knew he loved musical instruments. I heard about his first dates. When I saw photos of him, I was reminded of my Uncle Sterling. There was no doubt about it, that despite being raised by a different family, he definitely belonged on our family tree as well.
Finally, one blessed day, I received a message from the adoption agency. Eric had sent them a letter for me! Would I like it, would I care to receive it? WOULD I!?!? YES, UNEQUIVOCALLY, YES!!!
Once I received it, I was afraid to read it. I was afraid Eric would be angry at me for placing him for adoption. I asked a friend of mine to share the letter with me, and we read it together. It was so beautiful. He was so gracious and kind. He wanted to know all about his biological family.
I immediately wrote him a 5-page letter in response. We began exchanging letters regularly and eventually began to email each other.
I learned that my son, no longer just a tiny seed, had grown into his fullest potential. He had a full ride scholarship to a distinguished university, is a gifted scholar and works in computer science in Washington D.C. Moreover, he has a great sense of humor, shares a love of cheese with me, and now has two beautiful children of his own.
Then, much to my surprise, on Mother’s Day six years ago, I received a call.
“Hi, this is your son Eric.” His voice still warms my heart to this day.
I am so blessed that Right to Life threw me a life preserver when the world was shouting to take the “discrete and expedient” option. I am ever so grateful I chose adoption. Thank you Right to Life for being there when no one else was. I am so honored to be Eric’s mother and that I was able to see him grow into the incredible human being that I had hoped for all those years ago. God be with all of you.
By Becky, a birthmom